This week I focused on transitions. As I was writing an essay for my nutrition class, i noticed that the sentences didn't really transition well. I used a lot of also's and a lot of however's. In addition, the sentences didn't flow very well. I was disappointed when I couldn't find anything on the grammar girl website about this as I usually use this site. I did however, get some good tips from the owl at purdue. It said one trick was to refer to the last idea in the new sentence or paragraph. It also had some useful transitions and examples. I learned that it is important to use transitions to help the paper flow well. In additation, it helps the reader stay focused on the topic.
Here is the original version:
A healthful weight isn’t what is on the scale, rather the amount of body fat. The BMI is the most common way of measuring overall health, but body composition is needed for people with a lot of muscle. There are several techniques used to measure body composition, most of which do not sound appealing to me, especially the BIA in which electoral current through the body. I would probably try the bod pod as it is the most accurate and least painful.
It is most important, however, to know what the fat distribution pattern which could have an impact on health. Fluctuations in the body weight are the result of fluctuations in energy intake. I notice that when I am sick, I tend to eat less and my body is working harder than normal at rest, fighting off the bug. Because of this, I tend to lose several pounds over the duration of my sickness. This makes sense because when a person is sick, they are expending more energy than they are taking in. What I didn’t know, however, was that we use more energy at rest. I have always thought it took more energy to move around then it did to just lie quietly. I also didn’t know that 10% of our energy goes in to digesting food. I didn’t think it would take that much energy, I guess that is why I feel sleepy after eating a big meal.
Here is the revised version:
A healthful weight isn’t what is on the scale, rather the amount of body fat. The BMI, a measurement of body fat, is the most common way of measuring overall health. Although the BMI is effective for most people, body composition is needed for people with a lot of muscle. There are several techniques used to measure body composition, most of which do not sound appealing to me. The BIA sounds most painful as it is measured by an electoral current passed through the body. I would, on the other hand, probably try the bod pod as it is the most accurate measurement and least painful.
Along with body composition or BMI, it is important to know one’s fat distribution pattern as this could have an impact on health. Likewise, body weight is important in staying healthy. Fluctuations could take place with increased energy intake, but it usually only fluctuates within a 5lb range. I notice this most when I am sick. When ill, I tend to eat less when my body is working harder than normal at rest, fighting off the bug. Because of this, I tend to lose several pounds over the duration of my sickness. Consequently, when a person is sick, they are expending more energy than they are taking in. What I didn’t know, however, was that we use more energy at rest. I have always thought it took more energy to move around then it did to just lie quietly. Furthermore, I didn’t know that 10% of our energy goes into digesting food. I guess that is why I feel sleepy after eating a big meal.
No comments:
Post a Comment